Y Repwblic
Conversations with Wales' Republicans : Poblachiaethwyr - Repwbligwyr - Gweriniaethwyr

When did you start beating your wife?
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Y Repwblic Forum Index -> Seiat Gwragedd - Women's Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2017 7:19 am    Post subject: fire Reply with quote

Apparently, the migrant camp at Dunkirk has been gutted by fire. You might think it was the work of an outsider. Perhaps it is, but the word on the ground is that it is the culmination of a conflict between Afghans and Kurds.

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 10:33 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:52 am    Post subject: even hitler wouldn't gas his won people Reply with quote

Sean Spicer had the tough job of condemning Assad on behalf of Donald Trump. He said that as bad as he was, even Hitler hadn't gassed his own people.

Are you absolutely sure about that, Sean? I thought he did gas his own people, and that was precisely why he is thought to be so bad.

This is an eloquent comment on the calibre of the people around Trump.

Last edited by marianneh on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 2639

PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 8:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gosh - you were up late : I note your comment about Trump above but I think that Democracy is basically founded upon fighting and so rewards and promotes those who imagine others to be enemies. Putin just plays it another way - more tight-lipped and autocratic : societies do not change other than slowly and societies founded upon violence will produce governments which reflect the sensibilities of those in them. You could argue that our civil wars took place centuries ago but in a very real sense the history of industrialisation was a civil war conducted against the poor and that war is still going on and The Democrats in Westminster still perceive us as their enemies or atleast definitely " other " and they are not well disposed towards us i.e. not Altruists - not " Other-ists." They would not have any qualms in shooting us down again and if the language existed before the First World War the crowd of unarmed men, women and children at Llanelli in ( 1910 ? ) would have been dubbed " terrorists " to excuse shooting at them. These explanations have no reality to them they are merely excuses so the important point for Trump and Putin is that they are bombing not who they are bombing : there is no such thing as " political violence " -other than as an oxymoron because violence is not an argument and is essentially meaningless other than in terms of striking postures for a propaganda purpose. Those who use violence to coerce people to do things have no need of religious morality nor political ethics and therefore have no need to address reality e.g. Assad might as well be bombing The People in Syria to " Free The Unicorns " or to make them give him their secret perpetual motion machines. Putin made himself popular by punishing Pussy Riot - and Trump by beating his wife ?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:04 pm    Post subject: deen Reply with quote

It's not just democracies that divide and rule. Look at the opening speech by the king in Henry iv Part 1 or is it 2? When the guv'ment shot down our innocent boys in Llanelli before the First World War, this country wasn't a democracy, and had little resemblance to one.

Most people think it was women alone who could not vote. Not so! For men, there was a property quaification. Even a middle or upper class man over 21 could not vote if he was still living under his parents' roof. I don't know what the situation was if he was at university.

Russia is not a democracy although it poses as one.

I don't think that it is democracy that causes people in power to behave badly. It is human depravity.

There are a few arguments in favour of democracy that claim it is a brake on the darker forces of our beloved leaders.

It is often claimed that:

Democracies do not go to war against each other.

In democracies, strikers and other demonstrators are not shot down by troops.

Democracies do not have man made famines; Democratically elected governments do not declare war on their own people.

I don't know about the first one, but the second is not true. South Africa is probably a democracy now. But South African strikers were shot down outside a coal mine a few years ago.

A democratically elected government can declare war on its citizens or some of them. That is what is happening in the UK today.

I don't hold democracy in contempt. I think we need it, but it does not reliably achieve all that is expected of it. It is not an all purpose panacea.

I don't think we should get rid of democracy, far from it . But we do have to plug the gaps.

There can be a dark side to democracy. This is because the populace are often stupid and ignorant and full of irrational hatred, and are easy for demagogues to manipulate.

What we have to think of is: How can we counteract these unfortunate tendencies?

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 10:36 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:26 pm    Post subject: it's gone nuclear not quite Reply with quote

While my friends and I were discussing the sins of the British government against its own people, in a pub recently, we were distracted and also startled when one of our number came back from looking at the News channel on the TV on the wall and told us that the USA had dropped a nuclear weapon on Afghanistan.

But Trump has not been deploying nuclear weapons - not yet. That will probably come next week, and it will be against North Korea.

The bomb dropped on Afghanistan was the biggest non nuclear bomb that's ever been dropped in the world's history. With a nod to Saddam Hussein, it's called the Mother of All Bombs.

Putin is not best pleased. Speaking on American TV, Nina Kruscheva said Putin knew that Trump was an erratic man. He never expected the love in to last.

He will move on. Trump is no further use to him. He has dirt on Trump. And now he will dish it.

Not long ago, we would have been raring to hear it. Now it sounds trivial. Who cares what it is? The world is on the brink of nuclear war, for God's sake! At least, the Daily Mirror thinks so.

Last edited by marianneh on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:38 pm    Post subject: kim Reply with quote

Kim Jong-Un might not be literally crazy, but he might as well be, the heir of a dynasty endowed with absolute rule over a terrified and prostrate country. He has nuclear weapons. He's always testing them.

Donald Trump thinks it's about time he was challenged. Unfortunately, it looks as if the 'increasingly unhinged' president thinks that the best way to neutralise the nuclear threat is to drop a nuclear bomb on North Korea!

The rulers of China feel very uneasy. And Putin is moving his convoys closer to the North Korean border.

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 10:38 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:47 pm    Post subject: chech Reply with quote

A Russian language newspaper has reported that Chechnya, part of the Russian federation, has declared war on its gay citizens, although not in an open or above board way.

Men are lured into expressing gay tendencies by provocatuers. Those who fall for the honey trap, are rounded up and taken to a concentration camp. Hundreds of gay men are detained and tortured there. Three have alreaddy died as of 1 April.

I'm sorry to say that these reports appear to be credible.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 2:14 pm    Post subject: moab Reply with quote

The Mother of All Bombs was dropped in response to gas attacks in Syria. But it was directed at a warren of interconnecting caves in Afghanistan where Isis big shots were supposed to be hiding out.

It's no coincidence that the bomb's acronym is MOAB. According to the dear old Bible story, Moab was conceived in a drunken incestuous fumble between Lot and one of his daughters, after they took refuge in a cave.

This was part of the narrative where God rains fire and brimstone from heaven on Sodom and Gomorrah. This is a bit disturbing.

Does Donald Trump think he is executing the righteous anger of God? Does he think he is God?

I'm not sure what the moral lesson of the Bible story was, but Lot offered his daughters for a gang rape to the men of Sodom rather than let them rape the male angels who were his guests. And God thought he was the one righteous man in Sodom!

He later impregnated both his daughters himself after his wife was turned into a pillar of salt.

Perhaps the message is that abusing girls and women is more respectable than homosexuality. I'm sure Putin agrees. And so do many of the citizens of Chechnya.

Last edited by marianneh on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 2:21 pm    Post subject: electro Reply with quote

Some gay men have been released from the concentration camp in Chechnya after being humiliated in front of other prisoners, and subjected to electric shocks.

It would be nice to think that some of them were welcomed with relief by their families, and that their relatives expressed anger and indignation about how they had been treated.

But this has not been the consistent response. Some families have murdered their gay sons out of shame, after they were released from the camp. Gay honour killings have come to Chechnya.

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 10:40 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:00 pm    Post subject: armageddon? Reply with quote

North Korea has confirmed that it is ready for nuclear war if provoked by the USA. Donald Trump hasn't been in power for four months yet!

We expected something like this to happen, but not this soon.

That is, some of us did. A serious man in a suit said at the Riga conference organised by the BBC, that voting for Trump was the best antidote to nuclear armageddon. He said it would have been irresponsible not to vote for him.

Will he now have the grace to eat his words? People can be so hard to understand. At least the idiot who voted for Trump because he was a loose cannon, could read what it said on the tin.

Last edited by marianneh on Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 6:46 pm    Post subject: tax Reply with quote

Throughout the US, protestors are marching, demanding that Trump comes clean about his tax returns. More marches are planned.

People are refusing to pay their own taxes until he plays by the same rules as everyone else. Trump said he has avoided paying tax 'because I'm smart.'

Long before he became president, Trump was a corrupt property magnate, who employed 'illegals' so he wouldn't have to pay them the going rate, and then even failed to pay them what had been agreed.

Like a typical Rachman landlord, he harassed tenants both in the US and later at his Scottish golf course.

It's good about the protests, but it does look like a secondary issue now that we are on the brink of nuclear war!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 2639

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the matter of taxes it is notable that the military - yes, I know they are having their budgets cut too - are funded entirely out of taxes ... yet so many things which we took to be funded by taxes are in fact increasingly funded by charities i.e. The Democrats in Westminster are in effect relying upon many people paying voluntary taxation by subsidising their own schools, libraries, sports centres, parks, hospitals and even railways ... Now would it not be a fine thing if the civil society which the military are supposed to be protecting were not sacrificed to pay for the military out of taxes but - instead - the military had to stand on street corners shaking collecting tins ... " Dear Mrs Jones - we do not accept your sick note requesting that your son be excused combat duty on account of being put back on the hospital waiting list pending his operation ... However may we draw your attention to his turning up on parade in high heels instead of combat boots when The British Army Boots Charity will grant him a pair if you make a suitable donation ... Furthermore when she returns from his operation for a further donation she will be able to apply for our standard issue combat boobs - guaranteed to protect her from nuclear weapons."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:30 pm    Post subject: belabog Reply with quote

Chidren have been fouund in Belorusian orphanages on the point of starvation. There are teenagers who weigh three stone and have legs which are just matchsticks covered in skin.

This has been explained away as caused by psychological problems. But it's not convincing that they are all anorexic. Perhaps it's the carers who have psychological problems. Their attitude to sick children is that they are like plants.

Last edited by marianneh on Thu Jun 08, 2017 10:53 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:20 am    Post subject: jehovah Reply with quote

The Jehovah's Witnesses have been outlawed in Russia as they reject blood transfusions. Meanwhile 60 gay men have fled Chechnya where they fear 'extermination.' Reporters live in fear of 'retribution' for publishing anything about it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:44 pm    Post subject: Dai a white knight or the pacifist warrior Reply with quote

Tonight in Wetherspoons in Abergavenny, an - at least temporarily -crazed individual was repeatedly trying to punch me in the face as I stood at the top of the long double flight of stairs.

I was too full of adrenalin to feel scared at the time, but I've known two people who were killed, falling down much shorter staircases. It could quite easily have ended fatally or left me with extremely serious injuries.

The reason I mention it is that when Dai saw what was happening, he came and stood between us, and was himself threatened with a fist in the face.

It reminds me of the time Lytton Strachey was up before the tribunal as a conscientious objector during the First World War. Perhaps he espoused total pacifism.

Asked what he would do if he saw a German trying to rape his sister, he said thoughtfully, ''I suppose I should try to get between them.''

This led to some prurient sniggering, as Strachey was known to be gay before such things were legal.

The snide element in the story takes away from what a pure act of heroism it can be to stand between two people when there is a danger of deadly violence, one of those acts of everday heroism which too often go unsung.

Although it is exactly what I would have expected Dai to do, and I am not at all surprised, I think it is worth mentioning. We've known each other now for thirty years this year, but I think this may have been his finest hour as Churchill would say.

Last edited by marianneh on Sat May 20, 2017 12:13 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 09 Feb 2007
Posts: 2639

PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

... 美眉们

Damn I must fix this keyboard.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 9:00 am    Post subject: snobbery with violence Reply with quote

Here is the background to the extremely unpleasant incident above. The person I sometimes call Della in these posts has a magnetic and apparently attractive personality. Just about anyone would want to be her friend.

But after a while it becomes obvious that unreliability and refusing to take responsibility are her most salient traits. This may not be entirely her fault. She has been diagnosed with bipolar. For some time I thought it was probably a mistaken diagnosis but that's because she managed to keep on an even keel for some time.

Her father has the same traits in a more dramatic form. She has hurt a lot of people who thought they had a firm and long standing friendship with her by leaving them high and dry while running after some dangerous but - to her - irresistable character. Generally, she prefers people who are not that nice to her.

Although I have been one of the people unexpectedly jettisoned and I did feel hurt, I have not been as badly hurt as some others. I also acknowledge that your friends have a right to abandon you. It's not illegal. It's up to them.

What I thought was intolerable though, was that she treated me with contempt, and then put me in the wrong, telling people how hurt she was that I had dissed her and her fan club but she hoped it could be resolved! I hear from other rejected people that her usual policy is to blame the other person for whatever she has done herself. She never acknowledges guilt, or at least not when she is hypermanic.

Of course this sort of talk makes it impossible to resolve anything, assuming that that is what she really wants. It is self defeating.

Della had a manic rant at me in Wetherspoons for ignoring her, after she had had a long policy of ignoring and humiliating me. I was surprised into shouting back at her.

Later that day she pouted as she said to my partner that I had said something 'very rude' to her and she was very upset. She never mentioned that I had been responding to a manic tirade of her own. This didn't make me happy when it was repeated to me.

Under the stress of Atos rejection, hunger and anxiety I did shout at her about the 'chutzpah' she had displayed, a few days later and I did finish with the parting shot, 'feck off and die!' which was certainly not very witty or dignified; I acknowledge that it would have been better if it hadn't happened.

One reason is that it gave her more ammuntion. The guy who came close to ending my life or Dai's the other day, had known my partner for many decades. He was a local boy who had been working in Nottingham for many years.

My partner has said variously that he was like a brother to him and that perhaps he didn't know him very well at all. It was this guy whom I mentioned in posts above this one as having married quite suddenly after retirement. The relationship with his wife was a disaster, over almost as soon as it began.

I listened with sympathy to his miserable outpourings. He was upset that his estranged wife had put round the story that he had beaten the shit out of her as he put it, and the police had come round once or twice. Many people believed it, although his family was supportive.This hadn't made him very popular.

We only heard his version of course, but it did sound ridiculous. I couldn't imagine him being violent.

He sounded sad but sane and in touch with his own emotions while he told us his story. I did hear a few undercurrrents of disturbing eugenicist snobbery but tried to push that aspect of his patter to the back of my mind.

But over the following months his personality changed. We now had to listen to snobbery unbound. We would be trapped in Wetherspoons while this character poured forth the most ridiculous and offensive snobbery, insulting my friends for being common while bragging of his professional dealings with the Duchess of Devonshire whom he always addressed as ''Your Grace.''

He insulted me on my allegedly common accent, and the snobbery morphed into anti-Welsh sentiment. It was funny but only in retrospect. My friends had very harsh things to say about him. He was trying to impress them, but they were beginning to hate him.

Della thought he was uncannily like Charlie Pooter in 'Diary of a Nobody', but we usually referred to him as Lord Snooty. It was impossible to explain to him that you didn't share or appreciate his so-called values. I tried to do it politely but he was oblivious. My partner said he had 'very strong defences.'

It was no doubt a defence against having been born in a council house to parents who gave him a 'common' name. Of course, I don't think there is anything wrong with that - but he obviously does.

He told me what a difficulty it was for him moving in decent circles, when people knew he came from a council house - and one in Wales!

''Yes, you've internalised their snobbery and racism'', I commented. He was at once deeply punctured and denied it. He tried to impress a 'common' friend of mine whom he had previously offended by telling him he had worked in 'the City.' He had too - the city of Nottingham!

He wanted the targeted person to think he meant the stock market in London. But the 'common' person never even thought for a second that this was feasible. His own brother had worked in the City, and he did not believe that 'Wayne Flamenco' aka Lord Snooty was up to it.

Dafydd asked me why I didn't just tell him to bugger off. I said that my partner would be offended.

But Dafydd was right. I didn't need to spend hours listenig to this. The final straw was when Wayne Flamenco said about my partner, ''Let's be brutal about it. He ought to be dead.'' He didn't mean he wanted him dead, but I was still offended.

After that I turned and scampered away when I saw him coming. I knew how rude it looked but that was too bad.

I was returning from a class in Newport a month or so ago. As I came up the lane by Wetherspoons in Abergavenny, I saw someone coming in the opposite direction. I knew I had seen him before. I couldn't think where.

I was rather surprised when the person said, ''Hello, Psycho!'' And it still took me a little time to work out, ''Oh that was Wayne Flamenco!''

While I can understand he wouldn't be too chuffed that I was markedly avoiding him, it seemed an entirely inappropriate thing to say. But I later discussed it with my partner, and sagely concluded that his 'mind' has been posioned against me by Della.

My partner agreed. Normally, my partner has an almost morbid fear of falling out with people, so I was charmed and flattered when he said he didn't particulary feel he wanted to see him again after that.

I shrugged it off. Wayne lived in Caerleon not Abergavenny. The statistical chances of encountering him again on any one occasion were not high. If he was going to get involved with Della who can be very seductive, that would be its own punishment. He was going to get hurt.

I had a gruelling session with my Atos adviser on Thursday. It wasn't her fault it was gruelling; it always is. People noticed how depressed I was as we sat outside an inn later. I then went to my Welsh class.

I had gone home and was ready for bed when Dai came round. After some talk we decided to go to a pub.

Wetherspoons was noisy and heaving but we saw my partner and a friend Ian Holmes at a table. I didn't realise until we were almost on top of them that Della and Wayne Flamenco were also there.

My partner has a bit of industrial deafness but won't wear a hearing aid. The noise was terrific anyway. So we had an amusing situation where he was saying, ''We're all friends aren't we? We're all happy together!'' while at the same time Wayne was shouting in my face, ''Feck off Psyco, feck off!'' And it was he who was behaving like Norman Bates!

Normally, I would have walked away when I saw him, but if I did it now after this barrage of abuse, it would look as if he'd won. It seemed like five minutes at least went past, and all the time he was shouting this repetitious and ridiculous abuse in my face.

I had noticed a beer glass with only a small amount of beer in it. I felt like cooling him down with it, but thought, ''No, don't do that. It's so undignified!''

But when it became obvious it wasn't going to stop of its own accord, I thought, 'Oh go on! At least it'll shut him up for a second and it's not as bad as hitting him.'''

So I finally threw it in his face. I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, but I do say that many other people would have done the same thing, and they would have done it at an earlier stage.

The manager saw me doing it and came up to throw me out for breaching one of the chain's regulations. What is extraordinary is that Wayne Flamenco followed Dai and me to the double staircase that led to the exit shouting insults and threats in my face. For instance, he shouted as he aimed punches at my chin, ''And you're ugly too! You know that, don't you? You're ugly!''

One thing that has to be said for the manager is that he was concerned enough to come up in the hope, I think, of preventing violence. The ugly scene of Wayne leering and screeching in my face while constantly aiming punches at me will be with me until I die.

As I was now standing on the top step, and he was still lunging at me, this could easily have ended in casualty or the mortuary. Dai interposed his body between us, and was himself subjected to fists in the face which mercifully never found their mark.

Later my partner and Ian Holmes caught up with us. At first I didn't understand what they meant when they said they'd spent ages defending me, and it was successful.

What they meant is that they persauded the manager that in the circumstances I shouldn't be banned from Wetherspoons, and as he could see the state that Wayne Flamenco was in, he eventually agreed. Ian Holmes told the manager frankly that if Wayne had been shouting at him like that, he would have hit him, and he imagined that most people would have done the same.

It was very nice of them to defend me, but it was based on the premise that I might want to go back there, and do I, if this is how I am going to be treated?

I discussed the issue with people who knew Della well. I admitted I didn't have direct evidence that she was the third party who is always the stirrer in events like this, but I had no serious doubt of it. They had no doubt either, and I will never be able to forgive her for putting my life and that of Dai in jeopardy even though I don't think that was her intention.

As for Wayne, it'll have to be a case of three strikes and you're out. If there is a third incident like this, I will have to get a solicitor's letter to restrain him.

My partner said regretfully later, ''And to think it's Wayne's birthday!'' ''How old is he?'', I asked. He was 65 - 65 going on two!

Of course he's very weak to allow himself to be manipulated by an unreliable trouble maker. And he couldn't be more wrong.

A psychopath is a cold conscienceless person who can kill in cold blood and feels no remorse. I had a crisis of conscience after pouring salt over a slug.

I have an overdeveloped, rather morbid conscience. That doesn't mean I never do anythig bad but I do feel guilty afterwards.

As for ugly - this just epitomises what I can't stand about Wayne. Ugliness like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There's no point in wasting time on wondering if I'm really ugly or not.

The point is it wouldn't be my fault if I looked like the Elephant Man! It would be a misfortune, not a personal failing.

Wayne has what I would call false values. He judges people on the wrong criteria.He thinks wealth and personal worth are one and the same. He wil judge people on an accident of birth or what school they went to.

He is proud to have met the Duchess of Devonshire. His eyes shone as he told me that she didn't come out of the gutter. No, she was the youngest Mitford sister. She came out of a stable of thoroughbred Nazis. That wasn't her fault, but she could have done more to distance herself from them.

I said earlier that I didn't believe Wayne had beaten up his wife as she alleged, and I was so sorry to hear that he'd had to endure visits from the police about these ridiculous allegations. Even last week I would have said that while I no longer liked him, I couldn't imagine him being violent.

Now I know better. I don't mean he must have been guilty of domestic violence. Perhaps at that stage, his personality had not disintegrated to the extent that it now has. But it now looks credible.

It does show as well the need for humility. It's easy to say, ''So-and-So would never do that!'' Maybe you know So-and-So on an extremely superficial level, and you're not in a position to judge what they might do.

I must now stop calling Wayne Flamenco Lord Snooty and call him James Bond instead. He has now progressed to snobbery with violence.

I'm sure the late Duchess of Devonshire wouldn't have known him again if she'd seen him in the street. Even I didn't, after all.

But if she had seen him as a protege, what on earth would she have thought if she knew he had been shouting obscenities in a public hostelry? I suppose she would have thought that blood will out. It would have confirmed her opinion of what you should expect from someone who was born in a council house!

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 7:22 am; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 9:52 pm    Post subject: tainted love Reply with quote

Della and I met an apparently interesting couple, Tristan and Hazel some years ago. They were actually divorced, but six months after the decree absolute, they were back together.

They might not have had a sexual relationship any longer but they were emotionally enmeshed. Or perhaps it was more that Hazel adored Tristan and he was also in love with his image of himself.

He was dependent on Hazel in every way, but often devalued her. He turned out to be a committed conspiracy theorist. Hazel didn't agree with him about his theories but she thought he was very clever to have them. It was obvious to anyone less brain washed that he wasn't very clever at all, and as someone said,was 'opinionated without knowledge.'

If he had belonged to a younger generation, he would probably have allowed himself to be gay or bisexual. He was scared of women, and regularly expressed a tiresome and unamusing brand of misogyny.

Hazel had been informally adopted by her aunt when she was four. The aunt-mother was apparently a controlling and bullying individual. When Hazel aged 15, came home five minutes later than her curfew, her aunt beat her up and threw her out of the house. If she had not been able to move in with a friend, she would have been on the streets.

She had been set up for an abusive relationship. A lovely former chef, now dead, who would have been Della's boyfriend if she had not found him too fat,brought us some home made sauces when we were in Wetherspoons in Abergavenny.

We sprinkled a tiny amount onto the meals we were already eating. Tristan has a very literal mind.

He knew you weren't supposed to eat your own food in a public venue where food is sold. He started ranting ''It's wrong! It's wrong!'' rather theatrically, throwing his arms around in a way which Hazel's secret admirer Iestyn imitated hilariously later.

It was uncalled for. It was not as if we had ordered pizzas from 'Dominos' to be brought to Wetherspoons. Most of us just laughed. But he was screeching in Hazel's face. She put up with it.

Tristan had holidays in Greece every few months. I was usually able to contain his silliness, but when he returned from holiday shortly after his sauce rant, it was no longer possible.

He gave us a self satisfied praise song to himself about how right he had been to have a tantrum about sauce. He then had a long narcissistic moan about how sombody who worked in a bar had not treated him with the obsequiousness he believed to be his due.

It was obvious from the monologue that he had treated the other person with conspicuous contempt, but that was not how he saw it. He also kept interupting himself in order to insult Della and me, usually in a misogynistic way.

It was impossible to get a word in or change the subject, try as I did. I thought, ''Why should we have to listen to this?'', and walked out.

The following day I found out that Tristan had forbidden Hazel to speak to me, and Iestyn said he'd been pretty insulting about me. This was also in Wetherspoons.

No sooner had Iestyn gone than Hazel came in. She was in tears. She had found extreme pornography on her own computer which Tristan had been using. He then demanded that she apologise for looking at it.

I asked if Tristan had ever apologised for anything. ''Never!'' said Hazel. She said she was going to throw him out straight away.

She told us that on the day he had kicked off about sauce in Wetherspoons, he had continued the tirade all the way home, told her she was worse than anyone, and spat in her face!

I said, ''We'll support you in whatever you decide to do.'' I meant it . Della, who calls herself a feminist, had other ideas. She supports Tristan agaisnt Hazel,and has also dumped me, apparently because Tristan was frightened of me.

When it came to a choice,she chose him. This didn't do much for my self esteem. A friend said sensibly, ''If her judgement's that bad, would you want to be her friend anyway?''

Tristan was later banned from Tesco for being aggressive to the staff. When discussing his treatment of Hazel, Iestyn said he was a bully, a narcissist and a 'pig of a man.' Iestyn was interested in Hazel and spent a few nights with her, but realised he couldn't cope with the emotional fall out.

Hazel then went for a few dates with Wayne Flamenco aka Lord Snooty. He told me he was going to ditch her becasue she didn't know who Haydn was. She told me she was going to ditch him because he had 'no conversation'. 'She added, ''It's like you say. He's snobbish.''

When discussing the situation, Iestyn and I speculated that Wayne and Tristan had similar personalities, but this was not immediately obvious as their attitudes were different. Tristan was a former Communist Party member who was interested in the People's Assembly. Wayne was - well- an arse licker to the aristocracy.

Last edited by marianneh on Sat Aug 26, 2017 6:32 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 8:07 am    Post subject: what is snobbery about? Reply with quote

When Wayne Flamenco was in his snobbish phase but had not yet progressed to attempted murder, he was quite transparent. He must have been bragging about the Holbein paintings in the Duchess of Devonshire's pile, such as the famous arms akimbo painting of Henry viii. I referred to Edward vi as Henry viii's son.

''Edward vi was not Henry viii's son!'' exclaimed Wayne. I stuck to my guns.

''So, who was Arthur?'' he demanded. ''Arthur was Henry vii's son'', I replied. I can't remember if it was on that occassion or the next time I saw him, that he glimpsed the latest history book I'd taken from the library. He said pompously that I would have to be very sure of my facts if I was so foolhardy as to make any remarks about history in front of him.

He would pick up any mistakes straight away. ''I'm a historian!'' he said importantly. As Tudor history is so well taught in British schools today, even my children could have put him right about his basic confusion about Tudor princes, but I said nothing.

Because he couldn't understand Welsh at all, if he heard Iestyn, my partner or me speaking it, he had to take refuge in snobbery and racism. According to him, knowledge of Welsh amounts to ignorance . Only plebs would speak it. Ignorance of it gave him kudos. It was the equivalent of knowledge.

He tried to impress Della with how much he knew about animation, something she used to work in, but just displayed his ignorance. We were joined by a friend who had written a biography of Hastings Banda.

Wayne had to crow that he knew even more about leaders of Malawi. When he was at the bar, the guy said, ''He's an idiot, isn't he? He doesn't know anything about the subject!''

Wayne even had to claim that he knew more about the geography of London than people who had lived there all their lives, and he couldn't even get that right.

Iestyn took the opportunity to say to me in Welsh in front of Flamenco, ''Oh God, I don't think much of this Wayne! He's an idiot, isn't he? He talks down to people.'' As soon as Wayne left for the bar or the toilet, one of the monoglot English speakers said, ''I can't stand this Wayne! He's a hypocrite. He's an idiot.''

Iestyn also thought that Wayne's attempts to prevent his wife getting any money as part of the divorce were funny. He would end up bankrupted by the solicitor. He said ''You're nearly at the edge of the cliff, mate! You're just about to go over!''

He would never have felt this Schadenfreude if Wayne had not behaved in such a flamboyantly offensive manner. Two brothers in Abergavenny who had been friends of Wayne for decades were now feeling hurt and a bit shell shocked about how he had changed. They no lonnger wanted much if anything to do with him.

But anybody who had not been on the receiving end, might have had compassion for him. Perhaps he was a poseur in an attempt to cover up feelings of shame.

A woman who, herself, had a reputation as a snob, had expressed scorn when she heard that Wayne was studying philosophy. She didn't think he would be up to it. When this was tactlessly repeated to him, he was given to understand that she believed that nobody who had been born in a council house could understand philosophy.

Wayne had left Abergavenny at 18 to read philosophy at Nottingham University. But he failed the first year exams, and was soon drawing dole in the same city. He was then taken on to work in the same dole office.

Perhaps he picked up the culture of contempt for the clients. He moved on to some other project in Nottingham. He bragged to my partner, ''The boss says I'm very good at delegating my work to others!'' He took it as a compliment, but it sounds more like sarcasm.

He would also send my partner messages about 'work is hell' on the office computer. He may have had a bit of a breakdown before he retired. He wasn't socialising with anyone locally.

He had stocked up his shopping trolley with fine wines and nothing else in a supermarket. He saw a pleb eyeing his hoard and imagined that he was admiring his good taste.

''Eh, alkie, are ye?'' said the pleb disapprovingly in a strong Nottingham accent. ''No, just rich!'' parried Wayne as he swept past. He thought he'd won.

My partner tries to keep hold to what he sees as the good in Wayne. But he was offended that Wayne kept mocking him about a misfortune that had made him seriously depressed. After all, he had been supportive to Wayne when his marriage broke down.

If it was ever possible to have a mature relationship with Wayne, it is not now. When snobbery is a manifestation of extreme narcissism, it is a poor outlook for relationships. The snob won't be able to enter into anyone else's world.

Wayne didn't get any practice in all his years in Nottingham. My partner describes him as 'very lonely.' If - for instance- Della told him that she wasn't interested in his fine wines, he said, ''Yes, you are!''

Why he is so full of hatred and why I am the target of it, is both obvious and mysterious. Nothing I have actually done could possibly justify it, but I don't know what he's been told about me. If shouting at someone once and letting out a single swear word gives me 'psycho' status, then his psycho 'status' is more secure yet.

He was shouting obscenities at me like a mad thing and also making mercifully unsuccessful attempts at violence. If not insane, you would have judged him to be on drugs, and he was under the influence of a drug ie alcohol. This is scary and disturbing. I will probably have to seek protectioin from the state.

Last edited by marianneh on Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:17 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 30 May 2013
Posts: 1935

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 2:08 pm    Post subject: a naked madman running through the village Reply with quote

I have two contradictory paradigms on how you should react to someone giving you a lot of abuse or wronging you in some other way. One is that you don't have to take any shit from anyone. If you don't stand up for yourself, you'll regret it.

The other is that you have to be the better human being and not come down to their level on any account. It may be that both styles have something going for them depending on your environment and audience. One might work in Mosside, and the other in the small claims court.

I probably shouldn't have thrown beer over Wayne Flamenco, but as I have done it, I asked a sagacious friend what the etiquette was hereafter. Should I go up to the manager, and say, ''I'm so sorry about blah''? He said, ''No;don't remind him!''

Excusing myself later to my partner and Ian Holmes, I said that if I'd expected it to happen, it wouldn't have happened. I was taken by surprise.

So what if I had been prepared and had a strategy? What would have worked?

I think I'd have had to say, ''Dai, can I introduce you to Wayne Flamenco? He suffers from Tourette's Syndrome and dysphasia. When he says, ''Feck off, Psycho!'', he means, ''I'm delighted to meet you.''

But it would have been hard work sitting through it. There was no point in remonstrating with Wayne. A policeman once told us, ''You can't argue with a drunk man.'' I'm not sure he was drunk but he was disinhibited by something.

Jermaine Jackson would say, ''You can't reason with people who are beyond reason.''

And here is something for Wayne to consider. You obviously don't know what a psychopath is, which is what I assume 'psycho' is short for. But if you think it's a mad disinhibited person who might do something very dangerous at any moment, is it entirely wise to taunt them even on, for five minutes without drawing breath?

If that's what you really think of me, why do you want to take your life into your hands? Is that the behaviour of a sensible person? Is it the action of a reasonable person to taunt someone on an imaginary affliction which , had it been real, they would not be able to help having?

And here we come to the nitty gritty. I didn't come out of this smelling of roses. But I behaved no worse than a chimpanzee at a tea party. Who was it who behaved like a mad disinhibited person, reckless of other people's lives?

It was you! If any impartial observer had been asked to identify the 'psycho' during the staircase incident, they would have chosen you every time!

You really need to heed the old African saying, ''When you hear there is a naked madman running through the village, remember to put your clothes on, before you chase him.''

I could do with taking that advice too. If I see him again and he doesn't do anything untoward, I probably won't recognise him. It is extraordinary how unmemorable I find his face - even though the memory of it leering at me is now branded into my brain.

But if I did recognise him, I'd find it quite hard not to hit him. As he lives in Caerleon, this may never happen. But I feel rather similarly about Della. Strangely, Ian Holmes and my partner dragged her along to the pub where Dai and I were in conference, and she, the unmoved mover, sat outside with an expression like Queen Victoria not being amused.

I'll have to take to my heels as soon as I see her. I'd managed to avoid her by giving Wetherspoons a wide berth between January and April. As I'd managed to enter it without incident a few times, I'd been getting over confident. But it didn't take long for the merde to hit the fan.

Last edited by marianneh on Tue May 23, 2017 7:22 pm; edited 2 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Y Repwblic Forum Index -> Seiat Gwragedd - Women's Forum All times are GMT
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next
Page 7 of 9

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

© 2007-2008 Informe.com. Get Free Forum Hosting
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
PurplePearl_C 1.02 Theme was programmed by DEVPPL JavaScript Forum
Images were made by DEVPPL Flash Games